


Last Minute Regrets

by ChangedMan02



Category: Original Work
Genre: References to Depression, Short, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23477923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChangedMan02/pseuds/ChangedMan02





	Last Minute Regrets

There is a brief period of silent sizzling. A soft piano melody then starts playing in an antique record player. It is Clair de Lune. I hum the melody as I sign my name on the final sheet of paper. With great care, I fold the letter and placed it in the envelope. Slow and methodically I lick the sour adhesive and seal the envelope shut. I finally write a list of names, hoping that mum will someday read it to all. I brush away some old knickknacks that decorate my desk and carefully place it in the cleared spot. 

From afar I glance at the record player. It is the last track. I walk around the room for a while, studying each relic that decorated the room. I close every door and window and I make sure none of my cats are in my bedroom with me. As I complete the final lap, I spin the globe on my desk. 

The needle goes over some debris on the vinyl tracks, static interrupting the melody briefly. By now the track was halfway played. From my desk I walk to the center of the bedroom where a chair is placed. I sit on it momentarily, thinking if… I knew it was a one-way trip.  
Slowly, I stand up on the chair and pass my head through the noose. I faced my dressing table and, for a moment, stared at my sick and slender figure. 

Then it all happened at once, and so quickly, too... As I kicked the chair away, I heard my mother call me. I didn’t hear her enter the house, but by the sound of her voice and the faint dangling of keys I knew she was coming near the hall. At the same time, as the noose tightened round my neck, I spotted a picture I had taped to my mirror on the dressing table.   
It all hit me like a bus that was speeding down an avenue. I thought I could hear their laughter faintly in the distance. I thought their eyes stared deep into mine as I choked. 

“Baby look. Life is simple. Humans just complicate everything… You must give yourself some love. You can't love anyone if you don't care what happens to you. Because if you don't care, you’re going to get sick and die and you’re going to leave someone behind in this world. And that really fucking sucks. The fact that someone’s leaving you because they didn't take care of themselves…” 

My eyes watered as I remembered Her words. It was hard to breathe. The dim light was evermore blurry and faint. 

But suddenly, the rope snapped, and I fell hard against the chair. After hearing the commotion, mum knocked on the door. Sobbing and ashamed, I stood up and unlocked the bedroom door, hugging mother tightly and weeping violently as I did. I begged for forgiveness, promising her that I would change for the better good, never repeating what I attempted to do. 

But that was only a wish, for I was way past the point of no return. The final notes of Clair de Lune snuffed my silent choking, the melody ending as my face lost color and my body went limp.


End file.
